In my experience, it's either been a wild success or a terrible idea to write anything after midnight, especially on an empty stomach. Either I have reached that perfect balance of fatigue, hunger, and creativity which allows me to 'wow' even myself, or I put word to page and drop out something that can't force much more than an 'eh' from me. Only time and about 300 words will tell.
Neither "Physical Evidence" nor "Return to Sender" changed my life, but I've decided I'm really okay with that. I have managed to appreciate them for what they are, and what they have done right as creative nonfiction pieces.
"Physical Evidence" bled a sort of vague interest which reflected perfectly the author's feelings. For years, she didn't want to know what had happened to her mother. In those times, her imagination showed her mother in a sort of blurry half-light. She was satisfied with the small amount she knew of her mother; she really had no reason to hope for much more. Eventually it became more of an interest for her to discover whatever she could about her mother's murder. At this point in the article, the details start to pick up, reflecting very well the hunt she undertakes.
And then she ends it. Very abruptly, she ends the piece, leaving the audience with the tiny bit she knows about her mother, forcing us to feel the way she does. She knows nearly nothing, and we know even less.
"Return to Sender" didn't really shock or move me in any particular way until the end. The author ends by really struggling with who he is and how that matters in his relationship to his father. He struggles to break free of the hold his father's judgment has on him, while simultaneously craving his love and approval. I think we can, or at least I can, pair this to our relationship with Our Father. We want his approval so badly, but we refuse to turn away from the sin we are. Once again, I could go on and on about this, but I'll leave it open to discussion. I already know what's in my head; what do you all think?
I found your comments about our relationship with our heavenly Father to be very thought-provoking indeed. Although I most blessedly know, deep down within my soul, that God will not stamp my hopes and prayers and dreams and being with a "Refused, return to sender" mark, I still fear the inevitable fact that God is God and I am me. I am not omnipotent nor omniscient. Rather, I am a foolish sinner. There is no reason for the love that He showers down.
ReplyDeleteAnd yet He does.
That, my friends, is grace at its most pure.